Unchecked Electronics Leading to Berthing FIRES!

    The Navy has strict policy when it comes to electronics on the ship.  In recent months unchecked electronic devices designed to give pleasure have been giving seamen pain.
A report recently released by the Shipboard Leaving Inspection Team (SLIT), show a dangerus trend in unchecked personal electronics in berthing.  The teams report documented 157 berthing fires since 2010 big and small.  Out of the 157, the causes varied from, arson, smoking but the biggest culprit responsible for 118 fires are unchecked personal electronic devices.

"These are not the ordinary, Laptop, cell phone electronics causing fires." stated Senior Chief Rodham a spokesperson for SLIT  "Sailors have no issue having those types of electronics check, it is of the more intimate type."  when asked to elaborate he seemed a little embarrassed "Dildos, ma'an  you know vibrators and such!"

Having issues with self pleasure devices is not new to the military.  In WWII had 17 court martial cases involving dildos being dropped from planes.  More recent was in Guantanamo Bay and the possible use of such a device during the more well known waterboarding incedents. But this issue is new because now it is endangering sailors unaware of the ticking time-bomb in the rack below them.

We asked ETC Kingsling, the fire ignition expert with SLIT what is causing the danger "It has to do with maintenance...  You have two main types of pleasure devices we are dealing with"  ETC described the devices;

Can spark fires from long use!

"The first type is a plug in personal devices" that would be like a Magic Wand. "These plug in devices when used over time can start heating up to extreme temperatures! Our researches found in tests that cheaper devices motors heated up to over 650 degrees!" that is close to ignition point of alcohol. "People using such devices become so distracted they don't  even notice when silk bed linens catch fire along with any oils they may be using."

Very dangerous can explode in rack!

" The other more dangerous device is the battery operated vibrator. These often come with extremely combustible Lipo batteries... The danger of Lipo batteries if if they go below 2% charge or if overcharged they become very volatile and can EXPLODE in sailors racks!" according to ETC In 2014 over 78% of the berthing fires were linked to battery powered dildos.




Navy leadership is taking the issue very seriously.  As part of health and comfort sweeps CO's have been instructed to check for unauthorized pleasure devices. "You would think that we would find more of these in female berthing...  Fact is we find more in Male berthing." the CO of USS Bucky Barnes told us on Friday after a command health and comfort. "And the number of my officers breaking the rules is very unsettling!"

"What it it comes down to is personnel responsibility." Senior Chief Rodham told us. "Sailors need to getting their dildos checked by safety and make sure they buy good quality devices.  If people don't start getting dildos checked then the Navy will e forced to ban them."