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Saturday, May 21, 2016

The Navy to Recruit Homeless to Re-man Tarnished Rates

    Recruit knowledge in the information age has made it harder for recruiters to convince people to join some of the less illustrious jobs.    This conundrum has the Navy thinking up new ways to fill shitty jobs...

   The newly formed Sailor from Homeless Interactive Training Team or SHITT was created to go to the streets and enlists the least informed among us.

"Recruits are to smart these days..." the OIC of SHITT  Capt. Joe Dingle told us in an interview on Wednesday "They get on those cell phones in MEPS to learn how shitty a job really is...  This makes it hard to fill some jobs... We have to look in unique places to find people unaware of how bad these jobs are."  Capt. Dingle said his team works day and night to find suitable candidates.  When asked who qualifies as a "suitable candidate" he responded "If they can walk, talk and lift a pen they qualify."  

SHITT recruiters take great pride in their work. We road along with SHITT recruiter Petty Officer First Class Frank Skelington.  He told us how much he loved his job "I get to drive around looking for homeless, and teach them how easy it is to enlist in the navy."  We asked Singleton if he felt like he was taking advantage of the ill-informed "Hell no I don't... They need a job and I provide them a damn good one."

In order to fill these "Damn Good" jobs SHITT has been authorized to waive ASVB scores along with PRT standards when recruiting.   Some oppose the laxed standards to recruit people for less desirable jobs "It takes advantage of people without the ability to learn how bad the job they are signing up for really is." Dr. James Kirk one of the leading opponents told us "Some of them (SHITT recruits) are troubled individuals and military life can make them snap." 

Dr. Kirk's statement may have some truth.  A study by Melbourne University found that out of 2400 SHITT recruits 1785 had sociopath tendencies.  The study also showed that SHITT sailors were 73% more likly to go to mast then regular MEPS recruits.

But what does all that really mean?  We sat down with Roger J. Wilbur one of the first SHITT recruits for an interview "I can't believe I was taken advantage of like that...  I was better off in a box on 5th and 42nd.  Now I have emotional scaring from throwing skid marked tightly whities in the wash."   Wilbur had spent 4 years working in ships laundry.  "Yes I was able to receive his bachelors degree while I was in but that degree is useless if I no longer have my dignity!"

As for now SHITT will continue to recruit homeless but with Homeless Cellphone programs working the way through the states it is getting harder to find people to take the jobs.   Capt. Dingle is in the process of reaching out to the  Department of Corrections to make deals to on sentences for military service but so far no inmates have taken up the offer.

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